Empty And Desolate | esohgee's Blog

Nearly 40.
I let her blow our savings.
I let her keep our kids from going to college.
I let her keep them from getting braces and don't force her to take them to dentist.
I let her abuse us.

I'm a horrible father for this. And she can't even see what she has done to our possible future.
She doe see that one day I will just walk away. 
She can see it in my distance from her.
She can see it in my guarded opinions.
She can feel it every waking moment of our lives.

And she does nothing just like I do nothing. And nothing will ever get better.
I love my children, but what will I do when they are grown and gone. 
Where will I get a hug.
What will I do when I have no one to spend my love on.

This house has become an empty place.
I don't want to be here.
I don't want to spend my time improving it.
I need to be with my God.
I need to be the man I should be.

One day it will be too late for my soul, one day I will have to answer for this.